If your child is having a tantrum and you do not know how to manage it please read below, we are going to give you some tips on how to handle and manage temper tantrums.

Tantrums come in all shapes and sizes and can consist of dramatic explosions of anger, frustration, and undesired behavior. You might see crying, screaming, stiffening limbs, an arched back, kicking, falling or running away.

 

Why do tantrums happen?

Tantrums are quite common in children when they are 1-4 years old. It normally happens because children’s social and emotional skills are only just starting to develop at this age. Sometimes they do not have the words to express emotions or do not know how to. They might be testing out their independence and they’re also discovering that the way they behave can influence the way other people behave.

How to handle tantrums when they happen

Yes, tantrums happen, no matter what you do to avoid them. So here are some ideas for handling your little one’s tantrums when they happen:

Try ignoring the situation, remain calm (or pretend to)

Ignore your child unless he is physically endangering himself or others. By taking away your attention entirely, you will not reinforce that unwanted behavior. If a tantrum is happening to get attention from parents, one of the best ways to reduce this behavior is to ignore it.

Handle aggressive behavior immediately

If your child starts hitting, kicking, biting, or throwing things during a meltdown, stop him immediately and remove him from the situation. Explain that hurting others is not acceptable. Take away a privilege and explain why you are doing it.

Self-Regulation is KEY

Remember, you are your child’s role model for handling any situation, feeling and emotion. We as adults, need to have self-regulation, in order to teach them how to self-regulate. If we yell or scream, they will too. Self-Regulation is the ability to understand and manage behaviors, feelings, and reactions. Children start developing it from around 12 months.

Set boundaries. Tell your child to stay in the room until he or she regains control. This is empowering — kids can change the outcome by their own actions, and consequently gain a sense of control that was somehow lost during the tantrum.

Create a distraction

Try to distract your child. Your little one has a short attention span, so take advantage of it and offer your child something else in place of what they cannot have. Distract him by starting a new activity to replace the frustrating or forbidden one. Or even just change the environment. Believe me, it helps.

Give your little one a hug.

When they have calmed, even if just a little, try giving him a hug. Hugs make kids feel secure and let them know that you care about them, even if you do not agree with their behavior.

SUPER IMPORTANT, stick with your demands.

After the tantrum, it is super important to follow through with the original demand that started the tantrum. If your little one was upset because you told him to pick up a toy or something, or because he wanted something he cannot have, he should still pick up that toy once calmed. After picking up the toy, or doing what you asked, PRAISE your child.
That behavior is what you want to reinforce, and you want him to remember and repeat that behavior.

Remember that children are more likely to use tantrums to get their way if they have learned that this behavior works. Try to not give in and reinforce that undesired behavior.
Do not forget to talk with your child about emotions and feelings. Encourage your child to properly express what he is feeling, and you will see that tantrums will eventually become less frequent.